It's Just Lunch Vancouver

20 Years of First Dates – Part 3: First Date Tips for Women. Kindness is Key

Magazines and advice columns often say being standoffish or playing “hard-to-get” is an attractive quality in women that men notice. We’re going to debunk that theory. If you’re on a first date, don’t play coy, ladies. This is a chance to get to know someone. You’ve agreed to go on a date with a guy; be kind and approachable and you’ll radiate attractiveness. 

1. Dress for Success: Give a guy an opportunity to use those compliments he has saved up for you and dress like you’re interested, whether it’s an intimate dinner date or a casual walk in the park. Style points count toward chemistry.   It's Just Lunch's matchmaker Laila shares tips on  what to wear on the first date that will maximize your wardrobe and flatter your figure. Click here.   
   
2. Be On Time: While you really shouldn’t be late for anything, being late for a first date can be a mood-killer for men. Trust us.
3. Kindness is Key: Whether it’s directed toward your date or toward the wait staff, 34% of singles mentioned kindness as the most important character trait in a partner.
4. Avoid Negativity: Leave unflattering remarks about your ex-boyfriend, your boss, your family at the door. And avoid self-deprecation too.  Men appreciate a positive attitude. 
5. Be Light and Playful: While going on a first date might often feel like a job interview, there isn’t any reason to make it stay that way. Create banter and levity and your date will appreciate it and respond. You’re meeting someone new—enjoy yourself!
6. Make Eye Contact: See #9 in the men’s first date tips section below; replace “her” with “him” and “she’ll” with “he’ll.”
7. Smile: It’s not surprising that in our It’s Just Lunch survey, well over half of singles polled said a simple smile is the most attractive physical feature a date can flash. Use it.
8. Pay Him a Compliment: While he’s trying to make you feel comfortable and at ease, try and return the favor too. It’s all part of chemistry-creation.
9. Avoid Political Posturing: Intellectual conversation is stimulating as well as sexy, but leave strong opinions at the door. You’re on a date; not at a debate.
10. Show a Different Side: If you show a softer side, it makes it easier for your date to find common ground with you. Relax and be open toward him. You’ll develop a better connectionr that way.

 

20 Years of First Dates – Part 3: First Date Tips for Men

From first impressions, to chemistry and wordplay, there are a lot of little things a person can do to attract the opposite sex on a first date; and most of these can be applied to both sexes. But are there some that may only apply to men or women exclusively? Of course, and that’s why in our It’s Just Lunch Dating Survey, we took a look at the top behaviors that both men and women expect on a first date.  For the men…

 Men: Chivalry Isn’t Dead

 Trends and attitudes toward the sexes may come and go, but one thing is for certain, gentlemen: chivalry never goes out of style. Treat your date well, and you’re well on your way to landing a second date. Treat her more like your college bud and, well, don’t expect her to sit by the phone waiting for your call. 

1. Smile:  When your date arrives and you make eye contact with her, smile! It’s such a simple tip, but it’s an immediate way to create chemistry, (which we’ll talk about in part 4.)
2. Say Something: Great conversation and wordplay leads to attraction. Be ready with things to talk about, even do your homework and find out what she’s interested in, but most importantly listen to what she has to say too.
3. Straighten Up: Your body language tells a lot about whether or not you’re interested in someone. Standoffish, slouchy behavior isn’t attractive. Leaning toward your partner and using eye contact, however, is attractive.
4. Get There 5 Minutes Before She Does: Unless it’s Carmageddon on the 405, there isn’t much of an excuse to be late these days. Use Google Maps and don’t be late. She’ll appreciate the fact that you arrived early.
5. Treat Her Well: Remember we were talking about the little things? This means holding doors, allowing her to sit first, etc. In fact, make it an everyday habit and you’ll see it pay dividends.
6. Treat Others With Respect: In our It’s Just Lunch survey, the biggest thing women mentioned they noticed about their date is how he treats others. Treat others with respect, and your date will notice… and approve.
7. Compliment Her: No need to quote Shakespeare; but a few positive comments will make her feel comfortable
8. Confidence is King: You might normally think, “Will she like me?” on a first date. Turn it around and ask yourself: “Will I like her?”
9. Make Eye Contact: If you’re truly paying attention to her, she’ll notice if you make eye contact. If you don’t, she’ll think you’re bored or disinterested.
10. Make Her Laugh: You don’t need to act like a stand-up comedian, but open up the creative side of your brain and make her laugh. She’ll feel more comfortable with you after that.

20 Years of First Dates – Part 2: Wordplay and Flirting

In honor of 20 years of setting up first dates between singles around the country, It’s Just Lunch recently produced a survey based on our experiences—trust us, we’ve had a lot. We’ll share our findings with you and give you the inside scoop on tips that are timeless, tips that are played-out, and modern tips that may add a fresh edge to your love life. Enjoy!

Now that you’ve made a good first impression as we discussed in Part 1 of our series, it’s time to keep that momentum going. Whether you’re just engaging in a simple dinner, heading to an art gallery, going to a concert, or simply taking a stroll on a beautiful day, the point of a first date is to get to know someone and you can’t do that without conversation. With conversation, comes the opportunity for a bit of flirtation too, so we’ll be covering tips on do’s and don’ts. While you might think some these are straightforward, you’d be surprised how many stumble when it comes to chatting with a partner. Don’t worry; we’re here to help.

 

 Good Conversation: Worth 1000 Words

There’s an old Buddhist saying about conversations called “Right Speech” that basically means the following: speak warmly, friendly, and gently and you can make friends and avoid war. For our purposes, we’ll extend it into use on first dates in order to impress a partner. According to an It’s Just Lunch survey, over a third of singles mentioned easy conversation as an important component of compatibility. So what does this mean? You can dress to the nines, exude physical attractiveness, and even share a similar outlook on life; but if you can’t express yourself beyond that, then you’ll run into problems.

If you struggle with conversation on the first date or simply aren’t sure what to say, there are several tips we can help you with in order to get you going. First: know your current events. You don’t need to dive into the details of politics or the intricacies of a celebrity’s private life, but having a cursory knowledge of what’s going on will help drive conversation. Remember, ignorance isn’t necessarily bliss. Second: ask open-ended questions. Avoid asking questions that may just have a yes or no answer. That said, third: remember something your date said and come back to it later on in the conversation if possible. Everyone loves a good listener; it means you’re interested in what they have to say. Fourth: throw a few jokes into the conversation if appropriate. But please, make sure they are clean and inoffensive. Finally, five: be positive. This is probably the most important element to a first date conversation. While self-deprecation can be cute, it’s rarely a turn-on or a chemistry builder. The majority of people react well to positive thinking, so roll with it.  

 

Trending Topics and Turn-Offs to Avoid

So, how about that...(insert topic of discussion here)? So, you know how to go about talking on a first date. The next question is, what to say? There are lots of options, but generally speaking the vast majority of singles polled in our survey said “hobbies and interests” are among the easiest conversation topics to tackle. After that came travel, followed by family, movies, and food.

It’s easy to come up with ideas of what to talk about; however, what people often have problems doing is avoiding topics that shouldn’t be brought up in the first place. You’re best served by not bringing up any past conquests. In fact, the majority of respondents cited conversation along those lines as a major turn-off. You may also want to avoid talking about money, health problems, politics, and the future.

Now, some may say it’s disingenuous not to bring up discussion topics like those on the first date. What if politics, religion, money, physical ailments, or even an ex plays a large role in your life? The different between good conversation topics and bad conversation topics is simply, common ground. First dates are opportunities to meet people halfway and see what they are all about. Often times, the topics under the “avoid” column are there because they might alienate a date or are deeply personal. Since the goal of a first date is to get to know someone and make them feel comfortable, it’s best to avoid topics that will lead toward the opposite.

 

Get Your Flirt On

Now that you’re engaged in a brilliant conversation with your date, it’s time to inject a little flirtation into the mix. Why? Because while good conversation will help strength a bond between two people, flirtation can help enhance chemistry; besides, you don’t want to get stuck into the “friend zone”, especially on a first date.

So what signals can you give off that mean you’re interested? Simple. Pay undivided attention to your date. Almost 50% of It’s Just Lunch survey respondents mentioned this as being a surefire sign the date went well. This means big things like actively listening and engaging in the conversation and little things such as turning the cell phone off, or not being distracted by what’s going on around you. Remember, a little attention can go a long way. So ride that wave it and make your partner feel special. If the date is going well, they’ll return the favor.

Dating Questions? Ask the Experts!

Whether you are recently out of a long-term relationship or still searching for that special someone, dating can be frustrating and disappointing.  There is lots of conflicting information available about first date etiquette, how to make a great first impression and what you should do after the first encounter.  

With over 20 years, 2 million dates and thousands of dating success stories to show for it, we can honestly say that the professional matchmakers at It's Just Lunch have the experience required to improve your chances for dating success.

Email your dating questions to matchmaker@ijlvancouver.com.  We may feature your question in an upcoming blog or newsletter.  

Why, Hello 2012: The It’s Just Lunch New Year’s Eve Dating Guide

With 2011 rapidly coming to an end, many people already have their sights set on 2012, whether it’s making (and sticking to) resolutions in the new year, reflecting on past goals and making a list of new ones, or thinking about how to approach relationships both platonic and romantic. However, because December is arguably one of the busiest months in anyone’s social calendar— packed with work and social holiday parties, family gatherings, and gift-giving, we naturally put off plans for celebrating the actual turn of the new year until the last minute.

While you’ve probably heard refrains about New Year’s Eve being overrated year after year, what do men and women really think about when it comes to celebrating that night? It’s Just Lunch surveyed a number of men and women who offered their thoughts on going to a New Year’s party, finding a New Year’s date, and getting that end-of-year-sealing kiss at midnight.

 

To Go, or Not To Go? 

We’ve asked ourselves this question at one point or another: do I even need to go out on New Year’s Eve, much less have a date? According to our respondents, the answer is an emphatic “no!” With over 75 percent of men and women saying that you don’t need to go out or have a date on December 31. That said, a slight majority (55 percent) said that New Year’s Eve is an overrated, overpriced night and that saying in and watching TV is a better option than going out.

Interestingly enough, when we asked what would make the best New Year’s Eve date, a 55 percent of respondents replied with “going to a house party” over dinner and a movie at home (18 percent) or dinner and a movie out (9 percent) or checking out a live performance at a club (17 percent.)

While people honestly believe that New Year’s Eve is a bit overrated, going out on a regular date or staying in altogether aren’t attractive alternatives either. That’s why a house party is a great option for the last night of the year. You can control how big or how small you want the crowd, it’s inevitably less expensive than going out to a club or restaurant, and there’s an intimate, friendly feel to the evening that is inclusive toward both close friends and newcomers.

 

Kiss 2011 Goodbye

Wherever you end up, it’s possible you have a cute date by your side for the evening and inevitably you’ll start thinking about that midnight kiss. Whether you’ve been seeing them for a few months or just met that night, what’s the etiquette when it comes to a kiss?

If you just laid eyes on someone that night and have enjoyed each other’s company, a kiss certainly isn’t out of bounds. While you’ll have to make your own judgment about how the chemistry feels, a kiss at midnight is a fantastic icebreaker for a cozy evening. However, the vast majority (60 percent) of our respondents told us they would still keep a kiss under seven seconds. Remember, if you’re with a group of friends you’ll want to wish them Happy New Year too!

For a couple who has dated over the past three months, you’re probably more inclined to kiss for longer, and our survey results agreed with most saying that a long kiss is completely appropriate. 62 percent of our respondents also agreed that a subtle, reserved kiss is also the way to go at midnight, especially if you’re at a party where cheering and singing of Auld Lang Syne trumps any long make out session.

Enter to Win a 3-Month Membership!

'Tis the season for giving and It's Just Lunch matchmakers are in the giving mood.

Whether you are looking for warmth or heat this holiday season, the award-wining experts at It's Just Lunch can help put a spark into your love life this winter. 

Write a small paragraph and tell us why Santa should put an IJL dating package in your stocking (or nominate a friend) for the chance to win a three-month It's Just Lunch membership. 

Email your short paragraph, name, email address and phone number to our panel of dating experts at matchmaker@ijlvancouver.com by Dec. 21. 

Santa will select a winner by Dec. 23rd and winners will be contacted via email and/or phone by an It's Just Lunch Vancouver matchmaker.

Good luck and happy holidays!

Featured: Successful Woman Seeks Lifemate

This week, It's Just Lunch is featuring a client who is a very successful, highly educated, attractive and fit professional woman, looking for a life-mate to share her rich life with. In the business world, she is a highly sought after executive. In her personal life, she is an avid skier, and can be found enjoying Whistler Blackcomb most weekends in the winter. In the summer she enjoys tennis, boating and the rich experience of Vancouver’s outdoor cafes, entertaining close friends with cosy dinner parties, and travelling.

The man we are searching for will bring a love for life, and the balance that often accompanies someone who has found success in business, while also knowing how to take the time to switch off business and enjoy the best a healthy West Coast Lifestyle can offer. He has travelled many interesting parts of the world, enjoys gaining insight from experiencing other cultures, and definitely enjoys skiing. He is likely in his 50’s, but still enjoys an active lifestyle. No smokers please, or men with young children.

If this sounds like you, please email date@ijlelite.ca to schedule a confidential interview.

Age: 50's

All fees are paid for by clients.Vancouver

It's Just Lunch - A Match for Vancouver Singles!

Thank you Vancouver!

For the third year in a row, It’s Just Lunch, Vancouver’s premiere professional matchmaking service, has won the Consumer Choice Award for Best Dating Service.

Created in 1987, the Consumer Choice Award gathers the opinions, perceptions and expectations through the responses of thousands of consumers and business across Canada.   The selection process has been perfect through a third party research firm to ensure that only the most outstanding service providers are the winners within an industry.   The Consumer Choice Award is the only organization that surveys both the consumer and business community with statistical accuracy. 

This award is considered one of the best opportunities for a company since it shows the company’s dedication and drive to fill consumer’s needs at a higher level than their competitors. 

And It’s Just Lunch delivers! The company helps thousands of professionals and executives, who have an otherwise difficult time finding time to meet people, feel comfortable with the dating process. What makes It’s Just Lunch so successful is their personalized matchmaking approach to dating.  Dating experts meet one-on-one with each client before arranging a casual lunch date or a drink after work with a possible match.   The focus is on the client and their relationship goals.  It’s Just Lunch works with the client’s schedule, picks the potential match and makes the reservations.  All the client has to do is show up and have a great first date.    The company strives to make what could be a frustrating process easy and simple.   

For more information about It’s Just Lunch in Vancouver, Whistler, Victoria or the Fraser Valley, visit www.itsjustlunchvancouver.com or call 604-633-9980.  

20 Years of First Dates – Part 1: First Impressions

In honor of 20 years of setting up first dates between singles around the world, It’s Just Lunch Vancouver, Canada recently produced a survey based on our experiences—trust us, we’ve had a lot! From first impressions, to chemistry, to timing, we’ll share our findings with you over the next few months and give you the inside scoop on tips that are timeless, tips that are played-out, and modern tips that may add a fresh edge to your love life. Enjoy!

Did you know that you have approximately 20 minutes to make a good impression – or avoid a bad one – on a first date? The reason is it takes about that much time for singles to decide whether or not to see someone again. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to pull out all the stops in the first 20 minutes in order to impress someone; however, it does mean that there are two little things you can do to give yourself an advantage and keep a date intrigued.

Ask Questions, Remember the Golden Rule

So what is a first date all about again? It’s a chance to get to know someone. And you certainly can’t get to know someone without asking questions. Therefore, don’t spend the whole date talking about you. It’s so easy these days to get bogged down in what’s going on in our own lives, that we don’t take time to sincerely ask what’s going on with other people’s lives. The key is, be self-aware; if you know you enjoy talking a lot, take a chance to shift the conversation. If you know you’re shy, then this is your chance to speak up. Confidence is key.

Also, there is nothing more unattractive than being rude or dismissive of those serving you coffee, lunch or dinner, driving you in a cab, and so on. Remember the Golden Rule when you’re out with a new companion; trust us, your date will notice and react positively.

Avoid Deal Breakers, Avoid Deals

According to another set of first impression criteria, It’s Just Lunch Vancouver respondents came back at us with a few deal breakers that could derail the potential for a second date. Among them; answering a phone call or text, drinking too much, being late, and not having any interests in common. Unless it’s an absolute emergency, put the phone away during a date— you can’t get to know someone if your distracted by calls and texts. Keep the alcohol use to a minimum and don’t show up late (and whatever you do, do not show up late and drunk.) However the biggest deal breaker is, not surprisingly, a lack of common interests. Sometimes, you might find you don’t have anything in common with your date, and that’s ok. Relax, and don’t push it.

Also, a new trend in dating is deciding on whether or not to bring an online coupon, such as a Groupon or Living Social deal to a first date. Our advice? Ditch it. Only 20% of our respondents said it’s a smart idea. We agree with the majority that it looks both tacky and cheap.

So, Would You Like to Have Dinner Again…

You managed to avoid first impression pitfalls, had great conversation, and had a pretty good first date; so what next? Arranging date number two has often been the source of mystery and speculation, among both men and women, for a long time. On one hand you don’t want to seem to aloof, but on the other you don’t want to look desperate. We’ll cover the ins-and-outs of what makes a first date great later in our series, but the bottom line is: if you think a date went well, then simply call and ask for a second! The vast majority of Vancouver respondents – 65% of them – said picking up the phone and asking is the best way to secure a second date. Also, the “wait two days rule” is very 1990s. Why not the next day? Now is as good a time as any.

Tall Dark and Handsome in Vancouver

Athletic, Ambitious and Successful Professional Vancouver man, 38, seeks a beautiful active woman (27-35) who is intelligent with strong family values.  She will have never been married with no children and have a strong desire to start a family and build a life with him. 

 We are conducting a private search for this client.  If you or someone you know may be interested, please respond with a photo and a brief bio to date@ijlelite.ca ... local candidates only please.

All fees for this search are paid for by the client.

 IJL -Elite Private Search is Canada's largest and most successful one-on-one matchmaking service and a division of It's Just Lunch. Whether you are new to the dating scene, or recently out of a long term relationship, we are here to help you meet people well worth spending time with. We introduce our clients to real people, not online profiles.  And, we do it in a way that fits into everyone’s hectic schedule.

 Our services are highly personalized and tailored to each client’s unique needs. We are dedicated to our client's relationship goals and are focused on each client's unique lifestyle and personality. Our clients are active in the business world and their community – and are interested in meeting a  compatible partner  - someone interesting who they are attracted to, and who they can really have fun with. For more information about IJL Elite, please visit: www.ijlelite.ca