"Well, it just kind of fizzled."
"Honestly, I'm not sure what happened."
"We went out a couple of times, but it didn't go anywhere."
Does any of this sound familiar? You're into him. He's into you . . . and then nothing. It just "fizzles."
Starting a new relationship is walking a fine line. You don't want to come off needy or desperate, but often times singles forget that they have to convey an interest in the other person. In the end, nothing happens. You can change that.
Here are three common ways singles kill a romance before it has a chance to start, and ways to turn it around:
1) Letting the Spark to Smolder & Sputter Out
If you are lucky to have felt the spark of chemistry with another single, make sure you keep it alive. All to often we let those sparks sputter out because we don't know what the other person is thinking or feeling. You won't know. Live with that.
Instead, work on letting your vulnerable side show. Let them know where they stand with you. Be interested in them. No games; be up front. Listen, connect. Break down your boundaries and theirs -- that's the way to further the chemistry and the intimacy.
2) Letting Technology Be a Third Wheel
The age of technology has built more barriers for singles than any other. When you are on your date, whether it is in the first three months or three years, don't just put your phone on the table. Put it in your purse, leave it in the car or turn it off. Once it is out of site, it's less likely to distract you and it shows your date that they are a priority. Focus on the person sitting across from you.Make the evening about them and not just use them to fill the gaps between notifications.
3) Setting the Bar High Based Upon Previous Relationships
Every date is different. They may have the same hair color or way of pronouncing their Os as one of your exs, but they aren't your previous bad mistake. Each person is different and comes with a different set of baggage, good or bad.
The key here is to know what your "deal breakers" are. What is important to you, such as having kids or being a hockey fan? What qualities are in your dream guy? Give your date the benefit of the doubt and look beyond what they may lack or perhaps something you aren’t a fan of to see the genuine person they are. Opening your mind will open your heart to possibilities.
Bottom line: if you drop your guard, you let love in.