There are several reasons a relationship dissolves. Cheating, financial ruin (fraud) and lying are some of the biggest reasons. But one of the more painful ones are the ones you don't see coming -- just doesn't feel the same about you any more.
After a break-up, it is normal for us to add to the list of grievances, even in our head, such as "he always drank out of the milk carton." It helps justify our anger and extend our disappointment in the situation.
Days turn into weeks and then months, but our thoughts continue to stew on the various ways we were wronged and how he/she is to blame for things that happened before and after the split.
Does this sound familiar? Holding on to this negative pattern does nothing but hurt yourself . . . and your future.
It comes down to choice. You can continue to fret about what happened or you can decide to get on with your life. Invest your time in freeing yourself from the previous relationship and living your life to the fullest.
Sheri Meyers, author of "Chatting or Cheating: How to Detect Infidelity, Rebuild Love and Affair-Proof Your Relationships", says "it is often said that forgiveness is the ultimate act of self love. Learning to FORGIVE what seems UNFORGIVABLE is where quantum shifts in our heart and our capacity to LOVE begin."
Get over being wronged to see what is right in your life and your world. Here's a few tips:
1) Practice a Gratitude Attitude
When you stop to smell the roses, weeds fade into the background. Such is life and such is the way our thoughts work. When you focus on what is going well in your world, you stop looking for what is wrong.
2) 3 for 1
For every negative, it takes at least three positive to lift your spirits up. Put a positive spin on a negative thought. Eventually it will become habit.
3) A Change Will Do You Good
A slight change in habit, environment or location can help break the ruts that we foster in our heads. Give yourself something else to stew about or think about. Visit a museum or learn a new language.
In short, you have the power to let go of feeling wronged or playing the blame game. It's in your power. It's your choice.