It's Just Lunch Vancouver

20 Years of First Dates – Part 3: First Date Tips for Women. Kindness is Key

Magazines and advice columns often say being standoffish or playing “hard-to-get” is an attractive quality in women that men notice. We’re going to debunk that theory. If you’re on a first date, don’t play coy, ladies. This is a chance to get to know someone. You’ve agreed to go on a date with a guy; be kind and approachable and you’ll radiate attractiveness. 

1. Dress for Success: Give a guy an opportunity to use those compliments he has saved up for you and dress like you’re interested, whether it’s an intimate dinner date or a casual walk in the park. Style points count toward chemistry.   It's Just Lunch's matchmaker Laila shares tips on  what to wear on the first date that will maximize your wardrobe and flatter your figure. Click here.   
   
2. Be On Time: While you really shouldn’t be late for anything, being late for a first date can be a mood-killer for men. Trust us.
3. Kindness is Key: Whether it’s directed toward your date or toward the wait staff, 34% of singles mentioned kindness as the most important character trait in a partner.
4. Avoid Negativity: Leave unflattering remarks about your ex-boyfriend, your boss, your family at the door. And avoid self-deprecation too.  Men appreciate a positive attitude. 
5. Be Light and Playful: While going on a first date might often feel like a job interview, there isn’t any reason to make it stay that way. Create banter and levity and your date will appreciate it and respond. You’re meeting someone new—enjoy yourself!
6. Make Eye Contact: See #9 in the men’s first date tips section below; replace “her” with “him” and “she’ll” with “he’ll.”
7. Smile: It’s not surprising that in our It’s Just Lunch survey, well over half of singles polled said a simple smile is the most attractive physical feature a date can flash. Use it.
8. Pay Him a Compliment: While he’s trying to make you feel comfortable and at ease, try and return the favor too. It’s all part of chemistry-creation.
9. Avoid Political Posturing: Intellectual conversation is stimulating as well as sexy, but leave strong opinions at the door. You’re on a date; not at a debate.
10. Show a Different Side: If you show a softer side, it makes it easier for your date to find common ground with you. Relax and be open toward him. You’ll develop a better connectionr that way.

 

20 Years of First Dates – Part 3: First Date Tips for Men

From first impressions, to chemistry and wordplay, there are a lot of little things a person can do to attract the opposite sex on a first date; and most of these can be applied to both sexes. But are there some that may only apply to men or women exclusively? Of course, and that’s why in our It’s Just Lunch Dating Survey, we took a look at the top behaviors that both men and women expect on a first date.  For the men…

 Men: Chivalry Isn’t Dead

 Trends and attitudes toward the sexes may come and go, but one thing is for certain, gentlemen: chivalry never goes out of style. Treat your date well, and you’re well on your way to landing a second date. Treat her more like your college bud and, well, don’t expect her to sit by the phone waiting for your call. 

1. Smile:  When your date arrives and you make eye contact with her, smile! It’s such a simple tip, but it’s an immediate way to create chemistry, (which we’ll talk about in part 4.)
2. Say Something: Great conversation and wordplay leads to attraction. Be ready with things to talk about, even do your homework and find out what she’s interested in, but most importantly listen to what she has to say too.
3. Straighten Up: Your body language tells a lot about whether or not you’re interested in someone. Standoffish, slouchy behavior isn’t attractive. Leaning toward your partner and using eye contact, however, is attractive.
4. Get There 5 Minutes Before She Does: Unless it’s Carmageddon on the 405, there isn’t much of an excuse to be late these days. Use Google Maps and don’t be late. She’ll appreciate the fact that you arrived early.
5. Treat Her Well: Remember we were talking about the little things? This means holding doors, allowing her to sit first, etc. In fact, make it an everyday habit and you’ll see it pay dividends.
6. Treat Others With Respect: In our It’s Just Lunch survey, the biggest thing women mentioned they noticed about their date is how he treats others. Treat others with respect, and your date will notice… and approve.
7. Compliment Her: No need to quote Shakespeare; but a few positive comments will make her feel comfortable
8. Confidence is King: You might normally think, “Will she like me?” on a first date. Turn it around and ask yourself: “Will I like her?”
9. Make Eye Contact: If you’re truly paying attention to her, she’ll notice if you make eye contact. If you don’t, she’ll think you’re bored or disinterested.
10. Make Her Laugh: You don’t need to act like a stand-up comedian, but open up the creative side of your brain and make her laugh. She’ll feel more comfortable with you after that.

20 Years of First Dates – Part 1: First Impressions

In honor of 20 years of setting up first dates between singles around the world, It’s Just Lunch Vancouver, Canada recently produced a survey based on our experiences—trust us, we’ve had a lot! From first impressions, to chemistry, to timing, we’ll share our findings with you over the next few months and give you the inside scoop on tips that are timeless, tips that are played-out, and modern tips that may add a fresh edge to your love life. Enjoy!

Did you know that you have approximately 20 minutes to make a good impression – or avoid a bad one – on a first date? The reason is it takes about that much time for singles to decide whether or not to see someone again. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to pull out all the stops in the first 20 minutes in order to impress someone; however, it does mean that there are two little things you can do to give yourself an advantage and keep a date intrigued.

Ask Questions, Remember the Golden Rule

So what is a first date all about again? It’s a chance to get to know someone. And you certainly can’t get to know someone without asking questions. Therefore, don’t spend the whole date talking about you. It’s so easy these days to get bogged down in what’s going on in our own lives, that we don’t take time to sincerely ask what’s going on with other people’s lives. The key is, be self-aware; if you know you enjoy talking a lot, take a chance to shift the conversation. If you know you’re shy, then this is your chance to speak up. Confidence is key.

Also, there is nothing more unattractive than being rude or dismissive of those serving you coffee, lunch or dinner, driving you in a cab, and so on. Remember the Golden Rule when you’re out with a new companion; trust us, your date will notice and react positively.

Avoid Deal Breakers, Avoid Deals

According to another set of first impression criteria, It’s Just Lunch Vancouver respondents came back at us with a few deal breakers that could derail the potential for a second date. Among them; answering a phone call or text, drinking too much, being late, and not having any interests in common. Unless it’s an absolute emergency, put the phone away during a date— you can’t get to know someone if your distracted by calls and texts. Keep the alcohol use to a minimum and don’t show up late (and whatever you do, do not show up late and drunk.) However the biggest deal breaker is, not surprisingly, a lack of common interests. Sometimes, you might find you don’t have anything in common with your date, and that’s ok. Relax, and don’t push it.

Also, a new trend in dating is deciding on whether or not to bring an online coupon, such as a Groupon or Living Social deal to a first date. Our advice? Ditch it. Only 20% of our respondents said it’s a smart idea. We agree with the majority that it looks both tacky and cheap.

So, Would You Like to Have Dinner Again…

You managed to avoid first impression pitfalls, had great conversation, and had a pretty good first date; so what next? Arranging date number two has often been the source of mystery and speculation, among both men and women, for a long time. On one hand you don’t want to seem to aloof, but on the other you don’t want to look desperate. We’ll cover the ins-and-outs of what makes a first date great later in our series, but the bottom line is: if you think a date went well, then simply call and ask for a second! The vast majority of Vancouver respondents – 65% of them – said picking up the phone and asking is the best way to secure a second date. Also, the “wait two days rule” is very 1990s. Why not the next day? Now is as good a time as any.