Congratulations on being single! This is an exciting time of your life that offers a chance for you to learn more about yourself, what you want for the future and the qualities you desire in a future mate. It is a period of growth, personal development and, of course, meeting new people!
Okay. I hear the groans. Not everyone has a positive outlook when it comes to dating. In fact, they may actually have a very negative view point on the whole experience.
It's hardly unusual. With reality shows and moves that depict two beautiful people meeting for the first time, barely getting to know each other, quickly falling in love and then making the tough decision during the season finale to spend the rest of their lives together. With expectations like that, it's no surprise that we're all wondering, "But where's mine?"
If you're not feeling enthusiastic about your Facebook status, perhaps you need a bit of an attitude adjustment. Having a positive outlook on the dating experience will help shape it into one that is positive for you.
According to a recent article on HuffingtonPost.com, "you are in charge of your own happiness . . . Your happiness is not contingent on your job, your current boyfriend/girlfriend or the material things you own." It comes from how you "frame" where you are in life, relationships and career.
Date for Friendship
The key to successful dating is not to view it as auditions for Mr./Mrs. Right but about the chance to expand your circle of friends. Focus on enjoyment and friendship. Date with the intention of making a new friend. You'll have more fun and way less performance anxiety.
Get Out of the Dating Rut
Often times, a person's unhappiness with the dating scene comes from the feeling of being stuck in a rut. Going to the same places, meeting the same type of person and doing the same activities. Shake up the routine a bit. Take a risk and try a new class, new restaurant or join a club. Stepping outside of your comfort zone ups the ante and exposes you to a new range of singles.
Put a Positive Spin on a Date
A great way to reframe a date into a positive experience is to focus on a quality or characteristic of the person you just met that you would like to see in your future mate. don't dwell on what was wrong but highlight what was great.
Put the Brakes on Complaining
The best way to clear yourself of the negative zone is to cease complaining about being single. Whether it is "all the good ones are taken" or "I am destined to be single for the rest of my life", complaints only limit your potential. And, no one really wants to hear about how hard your single life is, so keep the Negative Nellie commentary to a minimum.
You have the freedom to do what you want, meet everyone you want and learn everything you can about yourself. Being single is learning who you are and that you have the power to influence your situation.