You listen to your friends drone on about how your a great catch and even invest a dash of hope in their stock phrase that it is just a matter of time until the right person notices. You bear the brunt of family gatherings where Aunt Louise or your annoying and married younger cousin wonder when you are going to change your ways and meet a nice girl/guy. You lace up the ugly purple taffeta gown or cumberband to stand by your bestie as they say "I do."
It's not like you aren't trying. You read blog postings about the dos and don'ts of the dating game.
You smile at the cute girl in front of you at Starbucks but the words in your head don't seem to make it out of your mouth until the moment is long gone. You visit the dating websites but you don't see yourself being reduced to a 250 word bio and thumbnail.
Through it all, you may wonder what you are doing wrong? Or is there something wrong with you? Absolutely nothing. And, I'm going to take this a step further and tell you that you are doing everything right.
“Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.” ― Anonymous
Being single is an exciting time of our lives. As the actor Michael Douglas said, "Being single is pretty good. It's a nice sense of irresponsibility." It's a chance to learn more about yourself, what it is you like to do, where you want to go and the person you want to be with.
"If you aren't happy being single you will never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life and love it first, then share it."
As you go through your self discovery process, here are a few truths to keep in mind:
1) Let Go of the Past to Find the Joy in the Moment
We've all have a heartbreak in our past, some more recent than others. Some of us cling to our past loves as the ideal while others are afraid to head down Relationship Road due to previous hurts. This will only lead to ruts in your love life -- where they will progress but only to a certain line drawn in the sand. Let go of the past and you will be able to bask in the joy availble to you. You can't change what happened, but you can control how you move forward.
2) Give Your World a Shake
Whether you are new to singledom or the reigning ruler, the kingdom is your self discovery laboratory. Take the time to do something new. Tackle a DIY project that always seems to be bumped to the bottom of your priority list. Take a new class. Learn a new language. Travel to a new country, or even a new area of your state. This is your license to cut loose and broaden your personal goals or horizons. The world is your oyster. Grab it.
3) Practice Gratitude
Why focus on what you don't have or you deem is lacking in your single life? Embrace what you do have. This includes family, friends, awesome co-workers and those neighbors who aways seem up for a game of Monopoly. Instead of dwelling on some romantic ideal, focus on the friendships you do have. Foster your bonds.
4) What You Make of It
A single a status is not the scarlette letter of yesteryear. In fact, having a positive outlook on your single status will allow you to enjoy it. Enjoyment means you will be radiating good vibes. Everything is what you make of it. Shift your focus to the positive fine points and your status will take on a whole new meaning.
5) You Are Enough
You don't need to lose weight, change your hair color, develop a six-pack, change careers or hit the clubs every night if you would rather read a book on your front porch. Know that you are a hot ticket and put faith in your friend's preminition: one day, the right person will notice. Until that day, you are solid, awesome and doing everything right.